Lerman Had it Right- Sleep is Bogus

I have one hour and six minutes to regurgitate what has happened since 6:30 last night before my linguistics review session.

Going off of zero hours of sleep, this could be...messy...but completly nessesary.

Preemptive apology: there will be typos and grammer mishaps. Enjoy the ride.

Last night was the Everett Fellowship banquet final dinner. Unlike my dorm dinner last night, this group of people actually bonded and I know even after the fellowship disbands ( i sound like i'm a marks hall kid here), the enviornmental social action bond will remain intact. Since the fellowship was established through hillel international, it came with a fatty grant. which we did not spend all of. but we may have last night, at dinner. The Milk Way: in a word, 'kosher.' In another word, 'spielberg.' And a few more words, located in a part of la i didn't know existed, a vortex of jewish owned shops with names like Haifa Market and Tel Aviv Trading and Pico Burgers. Think of china town...gone gaudy and jewish. It was awesome. I digress, this restraunt is owned by steven spielbergs mother, who is pushing 5 feet tall and an absolute riot. She chilled with us after dinner, and we shared with her all of our summer plans, and she told us about young stevie and her own life. I didn't realize until then what an extraordinary group of people the Fellowship really is. Most people have summer plans in foreign contries: somewhere in africa, thailand, japan, israel, jordan, egypt, texas, etc. After dinner, a group of us went back to shanas and watched Salute your shorts, a nickelodean clasic which hit its golden age cerca 1997. We decided it was time for team cardnal to adventure. David, brad, sarah and I didn't really know what we were doing. We looked on a map, david asked where we should go, and I said "TJ!." so TJ it was...

( note: another group of friends apperantly were having their own initiation adventure but it was no boys allowed, so we decided to up the ante and see who could have the cooler adventure contest. you can be the judge of who won at the end of this post.)

We grab our pasports, freindship bracelet yarn, duct tape, ya know the essentials, and head down south. We didn't have a plan, I had never been to mexico, so we just listened to music and drove. David and I got into long intensive talks about feminism, rape, gender identity, sexuality; the car talked about faries as semen, lcd, would you rather, etc... By the time we got to TJ, it seemed like no time had passed because good talk makes time fly and aderol makes sleep dissipear. Crossing the border was like a drive through at taco bell...not even that much security. I guess they trust the americans going over the border, or at least they want our business...or just take our money.

We drive a few blocks around TJ, talking about gendre androgony, and then a cop pulls us over. Apperantly, someones seatbelt wasn't on perfectly correctly over the shoulder. In mexico, that could be cause for capitol punishment, who fucking knows. So this he/she cop and her loyal sidekick frisk down david and brad, search the car, and ended up finding some interesting things in davids pocket: a coin, a sock/headband, a POCKET KNIFE. Of course david would have a pocket knife and not think twice about it, thats how he rolls. Apperantly, rollin with a tiny swiss army knife in TJ is a felony. David was sentenced to 72 hours in TJ prison. I wonder if that would be a legitimate excuse to miss finals...? So david and brad do what any responsible, american kid would do: bribe 'em. That's all they wanted anyway. 184$ later, we were escorted out of mexico. The funny thing was about this is that we were really, really, calm the whole time. I was laughing, sarah was still doing friendship bracelets(good lighting), and brad was just chillin. Tom told me later that he's heard 3 sotries of american kids getting pulle dover for no reason in TJ, their bodies cut open and filled with cocaine, and thrown in a car and driven back over the border. I guess, in that respect, we were lucky...

...so that was TJ. But definitly not the end of thenight. It was 3 am, and getting back over the border took about 45 minutes of just waiting in line with cars and cars full of people going to work. It stuck me as odd that getting into mexico to presumably do illigal activity like most americans was soo easy, and the hardworking mexicans trying to put food on their table by doing labor work in america was soo hard.

We decided to go to a beach in san diego. After a few pee in bush episodes, we get there, and theres a bonfire set up and a bongo circle. These people call themselves the rainbow tribe, a lost native american tribe who were really originally just a sect of harne krishna people who broke off from teh cult and then gained a huge following. They belive that bush, and all of his rich ceo associates, worship the devil and slay babies. Their mission: bring equality to the earth. I was knighted as an offcial member. There was also this really cool rapper there with an ipod dropping sick rhymes, but then the next self-proclaimed messia of the rainbow tribe screamed at him to shut up with his machine and played this obnoxious cowbell. david brad and sarah went to the water, and i stayed and talked with these people about their tribe, about music as the international language, about filial piety and how it's lost on my generation, about the drum as the universal heartbeat, about 19 year old jimmy's divorce, etc. One dude told me i looked like i was on acid because of my eyes. sweet.

Suddenly, OH NO, the police! He, later to be identified as jermey the ex-beach drunk turned police officer , stomps onto the beach and yells at us " put that fucking fire out, all of you, im going to throw you all in jail right not. You cant sleep here, stop molesting my beach, im throwin you in jail, get the fuck out." Jimmy leads me away from teh scene, he is savvy to it because he got out of jail recently from being caught dealing acid on teh beach by that very cop, so i watch from about 20 feet away. The cop wakes up the sleeping homeless lady. he kind of kicks her. he screams he is arresting her. She tries to get up, he siezes her while screaming pulling her to her feet, then throwing her back on teh ground. She falls hard, like a sack of bricks. She gets up, he is still pushing her. She runs away. Another police officer in a car chases her with a car down the beach.

I was soo dissipointed in the system.

Afterwards, med sarah david and brad talked to the police officer, asking questions about the assult he is allowed to do as an officer, and he told us mroe about that situation. The sleeping homeless woman is a chronic problem because she is bipolar, always homeless, refuses help, and doesnt always take her medicine. She's going to jail tomorrow.

After that the 4 of us really needed to digest what jsut happened. We walked and talked on the beach until it was bright and about 6 am. We got back in the car, and drove back to SC. Good music, good talks, great talks in fact...

...I may have something to tell you guys later. We'll see...

and we came home.

It was a night of grand adventure. I needed that. The night was fun, emotionally draining, and very intellectually stimulating. It was what i came to college for.

Mississippi hotdog

Question: when is the last time we were all in a room together?

I think it was getting ready for snowball...sad.

Let's change that.

I propose the following ideas:
1) Girls afternoon (today or tomorrow): a time for the members of this blogger-ship to bond. I'm talking like hot-seat,nail polish, would you rather and biggest fear/regret/mst embarrasing moment style. Possibly held in the abondoned chappel on campus?
2)Finger painting in the new north lounge. why not?
3)making a fort. badass.
4) turn into a band, write a song, and perform in the quad ( random crap=instruments.)
5) make freindship braclets with the exra hairwrap string
6)Camp indoors.
7) go outside the USC bubble :0 !!!
8) trip to venice beach ( its soooo cool)
9) Go to a comedy club: The Laugh Factory, The Improv, The Groundlings, The comedy store, The ice house, etc
10) Go to Medeival Times for dinner/entertainment
11) carve our names into a tree
12) sauna at tuncany or hottub at radisson!
13) Go get non evk famous fro yo like 21 choices/pinkberry/golden spoons
14) go to downtown la and just explore
15)...go to the getty
16)Museum of tolerance ( holocaust)

If you read this blog, leave a comment of your top picks
-bhg

uh (glottal stop) oh

I was asked to an invite last night by a stranger. All I want to do tonight is go to shabbat damn it. Instead, my date wants me to get blackout drunk. Wooo.

To my dearest friends:

http://static.flickr.com/41/99622281_17031718c9_m.jpg

only god could have made a hybrid of the two best things in the world, friendship and tetris. GOD.

Ooo baby it's a wild weekend

Everyday is a holiday for us. On monday, the school finally recognizes this and deems it a university vacation as well. Hence, no class. Hence squared, the weekend becomes a frotier of opportunity.

On saturday at 5 a bunch of the jewish sophomores are goin camping...in malibu. I'm going, all of you are invited too obviously, i hope im not the only one reppin' for our crew and you guys come. Oh, brad is going to be there...maybe i should say cum...hahahahah. thats right osias ;)


just kidding. osias doesn't like him as far as i know...carrying on jenna's theme of awkward...

love
BHG

Awkwardly Tan Awkwardly Blushes

So its been a magical year of awkward for all of us, and in honor of the new year I've been pondering the most embarassing moments of all. I figured I'd right them down, so the twinge of embarassment never fades.
1) Accidentally walking out of a room in zibbit with one of my girls on display. Awkwardly naked.
2) Wiping out TWICE in EVK-- both times with a full glass of chocolate milk on my tray. I slipped in a slippery something and the milk went on the shirt, and ATA went DOWN. Then the kitchen staff laughed at me. Awkwardly milky.
3) Wiping out trying to bike to my 8 am class. My pants got wrapped around the gears at the bottom of the bike cause they were too long, and all of the sudden the bike stopped moving and I fell, almost in slow motion, into the only puddle on campus. I soaked my white t-shirt through and was picked up by the people who work at the front of EVK who asked me if I was okay a bjillion and two times. Then I went to class with a see through t-shirt. Awkwardly see-through.
4)Wiping out (i'm noticing a theme here) at DTD on an unsober night. I slipped in what was most likely a beer puddle, knocked my head against the back well and fell down in a clump. In the words of Andrew, "I saw you falling and it was too late for me to do anything, so I just kinda watched it happen."
5) Walking with friends and a couple of there friends I didn't know, Fro-yo and I saw two girls in skin tight up to there red dresses with thigh high boots. After they passed we started laughing and called them sorostitutes. Well, Fro-yo called them prostitutes, but I was in a creative mood. One of the girls we don't know taps us on the shoulder and says, "Those are my sorority sisters." Awkwardly prostitutes.

So, as much as I loved living through these experiences, Im glad they are in the past. I hope you've enjoyed reading them as I much as I was embarassed committing them.

AND P.S. Sunny Eggs, Peace and fro-yo and ESPECIALLY PRINCESS PARTY BUS, you need to write more. Ghandi and I are OWNING you.

-Awkwardly Tan Aristotle

Row your boat ashore, USC Hoe!!!

First Night Back.

I knew I missed college soo much for a reason.

Messed up roomate trio in birnkrant/my boy j.d./ Going to a "phi psi party" but we're the only (4) girls/being theonly 4 girls at phi psi until 2:30 am/ table dancing/hookah/some kid puked off the top bunk onto a brother beneath him/drunken Al's bets/osias=representin/etc

Fun times, but all in all, an average ranking on the fun-o-meter for weekend-esque night at usc. and because this is only average, USC rocks.

bhg